aivix (aivix) wrote,

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Screw 2020

I have been absent from the internet for some time now, excepting for Reddit, and well, it comes down to the fact that the added stress from work has really been weighing me down. Things were improving, although I really had a rough day Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday, I had previously had approved for a short vacation that turned into a staycation that was supposed to help me relax.

Relaxation failed as I was served paperwork on default for one of my student loans. I very rapidly realized that the time has come to file for bankruptcy. Between medical bills, credit card bills, and student loans, my credit is destroyed and I can no longer survive on my meager paycheck. Knowing that what follows the default is wage garnishment, I won't be able to stay out of collections with my other creditors. I know it won't make my student loans vanish, but I have been pissing on a fire for a long time: my token payments are barely making any dent into what has ballooned to 100K from 75K at graduation.

I have been living on Xanax all weekend. I can barely find it in me to clean the house, but my mother is here for a bit and I can't let her know yet so I did get up and do what I needed. I figure once I speak with a few lawyers and make the determination of how I'm going to proceed, I'll talk to my parents about how bad my finances really are. Especially since my car loan has 7K left on it and it's in both mine and my mother's names and I don't know what's going to happen if I really do end up filing.

Maybe I have a savings bond that's matured and I can put something toward this mess...
Tags: life

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